Re-post: "Archetype: Priestess"

Re-post from my old Super Duper Social Worker Blog, July 2012

While standing around, waiting for ritual to start tonight, I went on a little rant about my recent trip to New Mexico. Last time I was home I facilitated a little ritual for some friends and family while we were out camping, and I was surprised that nearly five years later, they still remembered it. I was even more surprised that they wanted me to facilitate another ritual for the group.

Sometimes I'm amazed at the leadership role I've come into over the years.

Wait, let me explain! I'm not amazed that I take on leadership roles. Let's be realistic. I'm an Aries and the firstborn child out of a large family. It's easy for me to decide to be leader. But what I'm surprised at is this particular role, the role of priestess and minister.

I'm amazed that people trust me so much! I personally don't ritual with just anyone, and I'm pretty critical of ministers and clergy because people in this role have the potential to inflict so much damage. It's a sacred honor, and it should not be taken lightly.

So, when my family asked me to do another ritual, I was excited but nervous. Me? Why me? And I felt as if they had high expectations. I wanted to "wow" them, sure, and show off a bit. But I also wanted them to have a positive and healing experience.

One friend said "well, you write good rituals!" which came as a shock to me because I feel like I have such a hard time writing rituals, though facilitating rituals has gotten much easier over the years. (but I still get pre-show jitters!) and another friend said "well, welcome to the role of priestess."

Because being a priestess isn't just writing rituals. It's not just having a script and getting enough people together at the right time (ha!) to cast circle. It's a role where I am not myself. I'm speaking for Deity. I'm acting on behalf of the Cosmos. I have to be aware of the circle and the participants and time and space and myself. It's reading people and energy and keeping a flow, as well a balance of energy and emotions.

I haven't been doing this priestess thing for very long, not really. But I'm becoming more and more aware of it, being a priestess in both service to God/dess and to those who are in need. So me doing a ritual for my friends and family wasn't just Amanda hanging out in Tracy's backyard. It was a Priestess providing a service for the community, and I hope I was able to do so.

I hope I did them proud, not just Mutti and her friends and my sisters, but God and Goddess, too, and to all of the spirits, seen and unseen, who helped that night.

The Pagan Experience - Deity and the Divine

Wk 3 - May 18 – Deity and the Divine – This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

**Share your favorite invocation or devotional to the Deity of your choice. 

The very first time I acted as a High Priestess during a ritual was a Samhain ritual hosted by my fostering-coven in Texas.  I was a little Dedicant then, and my High Priest and Mentor made me memorize this prayer and practice it for him many times before the ritual.  I was so nervous!  But at the time of the ritual, I opened my mind, my voice, and my heart, and the words flowed through me.  I remember gazing up at the night sky, hair flying lose, wearing all black scarves and sweaters and skirts.  I remember the stars above and the clouds moving swiftly on that Samhain night.  The ritual was amazing and I really felt the energy flow through me.  After the ritual my Shaman friend came to me and said in an eerie voice "she's heeeere."  He pointed to the heavens and the clouds had formed the face of the Goddess over the huge, glowing moon.

Keeper of Ravenous Dogs,
Bitch Goddess,
Howler,
Bearer of Torch and Knife,
Ruler of the Dark Moon:
Hecate, I pray to you.
Turn your slaying glance from me
and direct it toward my enemies.
And if you can't turn it away,
may it be because there is something in me that must die.
Act with wisdom and discernment, destroying only what must go,
and giving me strength to endure the burning.

By Ceisiwr Serith from Pagan Ritual Prayer Book, A

Review – Hidden Wisdom: A Guide to the Western Inner Traditions by Richard Smoley and Jay Kinney

 Review – Hidden Wisdom: A Guide to the Western Inner Traditions by Richard Smoley and Jay Kinney

I’ve been reading this book literally for years. It’s not very long or dense, but we picked it up for our Pagan Book Club back in the day. For some reason or another I was never able to finish it, until now. Aside from my 1-billion-year hiatus (I started it in July of 2011) from this book, I actually really adored it. Loved it, in fact. I’d recommend it to anyone!

Hidden Wisdom basically looks at many Western mystery traditions and offers a short survey of their history, basic beliefs, controversies, and mythology. The authors point out that in modern Western society, we often look to the East for our mysticism (India and China, mostly.) While they recognize that lots of great things have come from the East, they encourage Westerners to examine their own mystery traditions, too. There’s so much there to be proud of!

They also wanted to write a book to help people within the New Agey communities to understand the roots of the modern mystic movements. Smoley and Kinney did a great job of keeping their book on track with these goals, and because of this, I think it would be fabulous as a foundational or beginners book to those who are interested in Mysticism or the spiritual side of New Age thought or even Paganism. They really do a great job of laying out the basics, adding a lot of context and history that is otherwise missing from many New Age or Pagan resources.

http://www.jaykinney.com/

They introduce the book with a discussion about mysticism, mystic movements, and trends in mystic spirituality. Next they dive into some of the foundational roots of modern mysticism – Carl Jung, Gnosticism, Esoteric Christianity, Sufism, the Kabbalah, and Ceremonial Magic. They then move into Neo-Paganism and modern Shamanism. Things get really interesting when they start to introduce some of those mystic and New Age movements that were quiet influential, but perhaps not well-known. I personally loved reading about Hermeticism and Alchemy, G. I. Gardjieff, and Secret Societies.

All of these movements have been incredibly influential on modern mystic thought. I personally knew a bit about most (but not all!) of the chapters. Through spanning so many topics, there’s something in Hidden Wisdom for everyone. Those chapters that were familiar topics to me (Gnosticism, Jung, Neo-Paganism) offered a great review and refresher. When it came to the chapters on Ceremonial Magic, G. I. Gardjieff, and Hermeticism, I found every word and concept to be fascinating. These thoughts were totally new to me, and it was great to read about something that I’d never heard of before.

Smoley and Kinney did a great job of offering lots of information without bogging the book down. And while I’m sure they missed some key ideas here or there, I didn’t feel like anything vital was lacking. There’s just enough to get the general idea and to gain an appreciation of the topics being discussed. Furthermore, each section has quite an extensive list of sources and resources, which is quiet excellent for those who would like to learn more about a specific topic.

http://www.innerchristianity.com/

As a minister, I’d recommend this book for those who don’t understand where I personally come from spiritually. I have a heavily Gnostic foundation to my outlook on mystical matters, and this has been confusing for some people. Hidden Wisdom would be a great book to clear up some of the confusion, without overwhelming someone with Gnostic dogma (for any Gnostic who is reading this, it made me laugh to type out the words “Gnostic Dogma.”)

As a Neo-Pagan Priestess, I’d love to use this book with people who I am mentoring. While most of the mentoring I’ve done has been basic Pagan 101 stuff, this book would be a good one to explain the more mystic and spiritual aspects of where Neo-Pagans are coming from. Furthermore, it offers a very good history of the roots of modern Neo-Paganism. We’re not just modified Wicca. We have roots in all of these mystery traditions – in the philosophies of Jung, in the ideals of Gardjieff, in the dreams of the Alchemists. And yes, we even have very clear connections to Gnosticism and Mystic Christianity.

So, I pretty much loved this book. I’m a little embarrassed that it took me so long to read, but that’s my fault, and not the fault of Smoley or Kinney.

Pagan Blog Project - week 19 - J – Just Dance!

Pagan Blog Project - week 19 - J#1 – Just Dance!

Oh, Thebes, nurse of Semele, crown your hair with ivy! Grow green with bryony! Redden with berries! O city, with boughs of oak and fir, come dance the dance of god! Fringe your skins of dappled fawn with tufts of twisted wool! Handle with holy care the violent wand of god! And let the dance begin! He is Bromius who runs to the mountain! To the mountain! Where the throng of women waits, driven from shuttle and loom, possessed by Dionysos!
Euripidies, The Bacchae, trans. Richmond Lattimore

Just dance!

I went to a concert recently (ARACDE FIRE) and I danced the whole time. I didn’t care how goofy I looked – a solitary fat sweaty girl in a space dress and a tiara, dancing and singing my heart out. It helped that I was in a different city (hell, a different state) and I thought “gee, I don’t know these people. I’ll never know these people. I don’t care what they think of me.” And I didn’t, and it was incredibly liberating and I had the best time ever.

I’ve been trying to dance more. I’m not very good at dancing. I’m not coordinated and I don’t have rhythm. But I really enjoy it. I really really really love dancing, actually. I love to go to dance parties and to go to concerts and to dance in my car and around the house when no one is home. I try to dance more and more every week, and one day when I have time and money (ha) I hope to take swing dance lessons with my husband so we can learn how to dance for realsies.

Dancing was never really on my radar until I went to a Midsummer ritual a few years ago, with a locally famous circle dance teacher in attendance. We spent hours outside in the heat and with the mosquitoes, dancing to the Cosmos. And while there were about a dozen of us, we were all too busy dancing for ourselves and for our Gods that it didn’t matter how goofy we all might have looked. No one was watching us because we were too busy focusing on ourselves, trying to get the moves right.

When I’m facilitating rituals that involve movement or chanting, I try to reiterate this – that we aren’t doing the ritual for each other, we’re singing or dancing for Deity. It doesn’t matter how bad we think we sound – Deity is just glad that we’re singing and dancing and chanting and sending them love and devotion and energy. And if it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that the Cosmos have a sense of humor, so even if we look or feel a bit goofy, it’s okay. The Goddess loves to laugh, especially when we are laughing at ourselves.

It’s hard to get into this mindset. Believe me, I know. After years of occasionally crippling social anxiety, it’s taken a lifetime to work up to this point, where I can sing and dance for Deity, that I can have fun with my voice and with my body. But certain Deities who I have been working with in recent years really want their devotees to do these things, so in my love to Them, I’ve been trying to put forth the extra effort. (Which is admittedly much easier when I’m by myself or in Priestess-Mode...)

Dancing can be a lot of fun, and ritually, it does a lot, too. It raises energy on many levels. Your body gets hot and sweaty and that raises physical energy. Your raise your voice as you sing or shout or chant, which is the energy of physical vibrations in the air. You push toward your comfort zones, which can be an act of sacrifice or devotion. It’s like telling the Gods “this makes me kind of uncomfortable but I love you so much I’m gonna push through it.” It’s an emotional exercise, pushing through the anxiety of dancing or on a less-traumatic level, having fun! The emotions of fun and ecstasy create energy, and that energy can be sent out to the universe! It takes mental energy to focus on dance moves, or even mental energy to allow your mind to let go a bit. All of these energies combine to create magical energy, especially if dancing within a magical circle or ritualized setting.

I recognize that dancing isn’t for everyone, but I do feel like most have a lot to gain by dancing a bit, if just around the house or while you’re in the car or at a nightclub or even in your dreams. Dancing might be a bit awkward at first, but the more you do it, the more joy you’ll feel, and the more the Universe will be celebrated. And the more magic you’ll create with your mind, body, and spirit.

Pagan Blog Project - Week 13 - G#1 – Gnostics

a repost from PBP 2013

Pagan Blog Project - Week 13 - G#1 – Gnostics
 

What we know about the ancient Gnostics is that we don’t know much. We know that the people who modern people might call Gnostic never called themselves Gnostic. The word Gnostic might have even been used as a slang. (Kind of like how the people who modern people call Pagan never ever called themselves Pagan.)

Plotinus, who is considered by many modern people to be a premier writer of Gnostic source materials, often wrote about the Gnostics as those goofy radicals down the street. "It is NOT as the Gnostics say..." (Kind of like how modern Pagans often write about “those fluff bunnies”, even though two thousand years ago we might all be seen as fluff bunnies.)

In regards to the Gnostics, we don’t know more than we know. But what I’ve learned about the Gnostics is that they’ve always been misunderstood. We don’t know who they are now and no one knew who they were then. Which translates to me that anything can be Gnostic, nothing is Gnostic, nothing is not-Gnostic. (Which works out really great for me.)

We know that the Sethians in Egypt were considered to be the first Gnostics, about 200 years or so before Christianity. These people were a sect of radical Jews who were probably inspired by Mediterranean (Greek) mystery traditions. And these Mediterranean mystery traditions were probably inspired by the Ancient Egyptian mystery traditions, which were inspired by God Only Knows. But whoever the Gnostics were, they went on to inspire Christianity, the Kabbalah, Masons, The Golden Dawn, Wiccans, modern Pagans, comic book artists, rock songs, books, movies, and a continuing cycle of inspired texts and prophets (Dick, Hesse, Moore, Smashing Pumpkins, ELO, etc.)

What I love about the early Gnostics was that they just wrote stuff all the time, and some of it is crazy. I get the impression that if there is was aspect about their current Gnostic myth that they didn’t like, they just wrote their own. So this means as a modern person reading this stuff it seems confusing and contradictory, but contradiction only need to exist in religion if one is looking at religion from a literal point of view. But when looking at religion as something that is organic, changeable, and evolving, the Gnostic myths make perfect sense, especially from a Universalist point of view.  We’re all on a path towards God, we know that each path is different. We’re all just wandering around on a crooked path and at the center is God. 

So who were the Gnostics and what did they do? We don’t really know. But what I like to think is that two thousand years ago, Gnostics, Jews, Pagans, Christians, atheists, agnostics and whoever else got together in comfy backrooms every once in a while. I’d like to think that they were all friends. That they sat and breathed together, wrote stupid stories about talking snakes and laughing gods, chanted, raised energy, talked about God, shared wine and bread, laughed, told jokes, had ecstatic moments, and afterword, in the words of my Bishop, they sat around in joy and said “how cool was that?!”

Pagan Blog Project - week 10 - E#2 - Empaths (from a non-empath point of view)

 Pagan Blog Project - week 10 - E#2 – Empaths

I am not an empath. I’m pretty dense. I’m like a rock when it comes to energy. Not lead, but  maybe pumice. Some stuff will get through, but not a lot. But I have lots of friends and family who are like sponges – they suck everything up around them, positive or negative, neutral or chaotic. They feel it all, and they often feel it with ferocity.

That’s when I usually start feeling stuff, too. In my experience, empaths can sometimes act like amplifiers to the mood and general energetic feel of a moment. So that means if an empath isn’t having a good time, no one in a mile radius is going to have a good time. Or similarly, if an empath is bouncing off the wall, it might be no time at all before the whole room is going spastic.

I first realized the power of emotional energy when a former friend of mine was having a hard time. She’d come to my house and cry and cry and cry and after a few months of this we all were exasperated with her. Sure, we felt bad about her situation, but it had reached such an extreme low that we all were going down with her. One time, a non-Pagan walked into the hosue right after this girl had finally gone home for the evening. We were all busy on the computer or doing homework, minding our own business when he walked in, stood at the door, and exclaimed “wow, the energy in here is just terrible! What the hell is going on?”

Even as a "non-believer" he knew something was up. I often find myself in this position, and sometimes it can be exhausting, or even annoying. So what can a non-empath do when dealing with empaths? Here are some things that have helped me when dealing with highly-sensitive friends and family. Maybe some of this will help you, and maybe you have some stuff to share as well!

• Eat some food, not just sugar. Sugar will help replenish energy, but you need something more substantial. Eat something with some fat and especially some protein. The protein will help ground you.

• Drink water. Don’t drink soda. Don’t drink tea. Drink water. Drink a lot of it. If you are ding a ritual, drink a glass of water before starting and drink a lot more after.

• Wash your face. This will refresh you and clear your energy. It feels good. It’s a re-set button. When I am feeling energetically unclean, I splash cold water on my face three times, rubbing around my eyes and nose and especially on my forehead. Washing your face and hand works wonders.

• Carry hematite or some other grounding stone. Keep in mind that hematite is said to bounce energy back to the sender, so while it’s grounding it might not be the best to neutralize energy.

• Touch the ground with your bare feet. Take deep breaths, but not so many that you start to feel light headed.

• Knock on wood or on the bare earth. Touch your finger-tips to wood or to the soil.

• Don’t let your empath-friends get carried away. This happens all too easily. Lovingly remind them to stay grounded in reality. As fun as magic and energy can be, often times empaths escalate energetic situations into an atomic explosion, and this isn’t always appropriate. Empaths often can seem to over-exaggerate or even be drama queens, so be sympathetic to their experiences but keep them grounded in reality. Sometimes empaths can get carried away about ghosts and demons and angels and portals and visions and all sorts of fun/scary things. These experiences can be valid, but can also be exaggerated and blown way out of proportion. This can be confusing and annoying for non-empaths, so be patient but also be grounded in reality. If an empath-friend is getting carried away, encourage them to ground and center themselves. Encourage them to think with logic rather than emotion. Emotions can be vitally important and useful, especially to magic-users, but they can also dilute the reality of the situation.

• Help your empath-friend to know themselves, to know their strengths and limitations, their successes and their triggers. Help them to avoid potentially negative situations. Sometimes empaths seem to get themselves into messes, both in the magical sense and in the mundane sense. Helping your empath-friend to explore their potential while maintaining clear limits and boundaries will help them control their own emotions and abilities, which in turn will help you and others when interacting with them. Help them to explore techniques that help them ground and center themselves, and help them to realize when something might be a bit too much.

• and importantly... Have fun! Joy and positive emotions can often act as a shield and a protective barrier. There's strength and power in laughter. Also, an empath can be a great contribution to a ritual or a party. (Just be safe and sane!)