Monday, June 1, 2015

The Pagan Experience - Magnetism and the Law of Attraction




For a little over a year I’ve been trying to get a job.  Specifically, I’ve been trying to get a job in the social work field with free supervision and that pays around 40k a year.  One where I won’t have to work more than 40 hours a week, and one where I will be happy and fit in with the agency culture.  One that will be fulfilling, fun, and most of all, where I will really do good work for my clients and their families.

I graduated with my master’s degree in social work in May 2014.  I immediately did a ritual and spell to bring my dream-job to me.  Then I spent the summer writing a book and being worried sick about money.  I applied to a few jobs that seemed just wonderful, and didn’t get even one job interview.  In the meantime, my classmates all got jobs and began to happily pay back their student loans.  It was a wonderful, magical summer, full of gentle weather, fireflies, rituals, potlucks, parties, lavender, BBQ, rock concerts, and mystical revelations.  That magical summer transitioned into a frenzied autumn – festivals, retreats, conferences, rituals… and then the holiday season.  At this time I was so busy that there didn’t seem to be any time to look for a social work job.

Winter transitioned into spring, and spring now into summer, and I find myself in the exact same position that I was a year ago.  I ask myself – what do I strive to attract to myself?  And to be honest, that would be joy and pleasure, which I have in abundance.  What actions have I taken to bring this into manifest form?  Having fun is my only option at this time.  If I weren’t having fun, then I’d sink deep into the depression and anxiety of unemployment, the feeling of failure after having top internships and graduating Magna Cum Laude and yet being unable to find employment.  Of failing my hardworking husband who gives everything for me all the time, and of failing my professors and supervisors who invested their time and energy in me, and of failing myself.

How does this quality of magnetism inform my spiritual and mundane life?  Despite a richly magical life full of blessings and enlightened wisdom, my year of unemployment has made me question.  I question myself as a person, as a social worker, as an adult.  (I turned 30 before my Year of Unemployment.)  It made me question magic – how much is coincidence and how much is actual changing of one’s environment?  How much of it is blessings from the Cosmos and how much of it is blind luck?  And how much of it is destiny or a blessing and disguise?  (I wrote a book, I traveled a lot, I went to retreats and conferences, I worked in a conjure shop, I organized my house, I got a lot of sleep, I watched a lot of Netflix… I was mostly happy this past year, despite the crippling anxiety as I tried to pay my bills every month.)

Fundamentally, I function in a world where "like attracts like".  In my experience, sympathetic magic is very powerful and very easy to employ.  But that’s just the thing – it works on simple things, and not always complex desires (a “dream job.)  I’ve done very little spell-work about my job situation since my initial ritual, and I’m not sure if I want to, even a year later.  As the wheel turns and turns again, my credit is maxed out, my bank account is depleted, and I’ve called in every favor from everyone I can think of.  I’m just not sure how much magnetism and the law of attraction can help me now.

4 comments:

  1. Blessings to you! Thanks for sharing! I know how easy it is to begin to doubt how things will work out. Just stay positive and keep trying! Hope things work out for you!
    Stopping by from The Pagan Experience blog prompts for this week.
    Hestia's Muse

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    1. thanks so much for stopping by and for commenting =) every little bit of encouragement helps a lot =)

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  2. I'm not going to write an essay about how there's a lesson here, blah blah blah. Just letting you know that I believe in you and I am backing you up! <3

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    1. Thank you, my friend! <3 it always, always means a lot.

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